Awitin
by reveileb maerdyad
Summary: what it means to believe, and see beyond the ocean of doubt. zidanedagger


Occurs sometime after the destruction of Terra, before Memoria. 

**Disclaimer: **ff9 belongsto Squaresoft. Some phrases from the song "Melodies of Life" (translated) are from Kaze Yagami's site yagami@pacific.net.sg.

**Awitin**

**_Faith parts the sea; a fool pushes the river. _**

Unearthly music filled his ears, waking him to the reality of night beneath the Daguerrean sky that seemed, if anything, more dreamlike than ever. Lids straining against the darkness, he floated under the quality of the voice that beckoned to him to take flight and disappear against the clouds. A welcome distraction from his troubles. 

Sitting up, Zidane Tribal shook away the remaining fogs of sleep as he instinctively searched for the tracks of the light-footed girl with the exquisite face and her hair cut bluntly short. Ignoring the pang he felt at the thought, he stood up and merely followed the origin of the voice, giving no heed to the silvery imprints that echoed his path. 

He didn't have to search far, it was a good thing mist had not appeared too much on this place after everything that had happened; he found her a few paces from the great onslaught of water and power, the foam spitting off into various directions and ever flowing, her mirror in the surface making her look as if she were a siren lulling sailors from their ships. Not for the first time, he almost felt the presence of the fabled water dragon keeping reign on its domain. He wrapped his arms around himself and listened. 

Wandered about without a destination... I searched on and on without support... The memories that you gave me became a healing song to my heart... 

Her words lifted to him as if searching for the melody that he alone could give, as his soul left his body and drifted somewhere up and lofty, a passive observer to the scene. He studied her, transfixed, unable to give meaning to the roiling surges of emotion that crashed at him like the stormy waves of sea against cliff. 

What was it about her that made him feel so lost? When all he ever wanted was sight of an end to his life-long journey, she came into his life offering to be kidnapped... 

When he was searching for his origins, she came charging into him from a palace hallway that sent him dizzy with the impact... 

When now that he knew that he was nothing more than a whim, here she was so steadfast, offering a friendship that broke class distinctions, that mystified him even more with the relief that flowed through him at her acceptance. 

Oh, Princess Garnet Til Alexandros 17th was dignified – majestic, to be sure, and sometimes too prim, but his Dagger was also impulsive, courageous, and fair. 

_... His??_

"Zidane," rang her surprised, a little reprimanding, voice. "Why didn't you tell me you were there?"

He jumped, guiltily, and gave a foolish grin. "Aw, Dagger, I know you wouldn't have let me listen if you knew I was here." His hand came up to scratch the back of his head. "Um, right?"

The look she gave him was difficult to read, but her cheeks reddened even in the dark. "I could not sleep." She smiled, a smile meant for friends, and beckoned to him. "I've been thinking. I want to show you something, Zidane. Come here."

As if on autopilot, his legs worked their way toward her, head buzzing in time to the booming of water against water. Closer, and he could see the sparkle in her eyes that belied the intelligence of the mind inside that head. As was always, the rest of the place receded around him, like quicksand he was lost to everything but her and her alone. Reaching out, she half-dragged him to the cliff-border of that knowledge thirsty world. He was hardly conscious, but the roar of the waterfalls lessened with every step, and yet the dragon god's reach remained. 

The world spread out before him, reminding him of how the curtain of the Tantalus' infamous plays unraveled every scene. His eyes drank in the moment of seconds that seemed to stretch into oblivion, in this place where nothing seemed to matter but the never-ending roll of the waves, where souls and worlds devouring worlds were just another trivial matter of philosophy and study. He could die like this, he thought idly. 

He turned to her, then, smiling. Happy. "So, what is it?"

"Over there," she said, and pointed out an indistinct mark towards the expanse of dark sea. He could see nothing... or was that a whales' gigantic fin sweeping over the sky? Frowning, he willed his eyes to focus and see something, anything, to tell the Lady beside him. As quickly as he saw it, the fin was gone as if it had never been. 

There was nothing there for him to see. Just his imagination, that was all. 

Unless she was talking about something else, something abstract and implied, perhaps? 

A sudden thought struck him that made him fan his face rapidly. "Uh, Dagger? We aren't by any chance, um..." His feet somehow found the steps to a frenzied dance, and the next moment he was looking down into his boots with fascination like he'd just discovered they were a secret ingredient to blueberry cheesecake. Or that they were capable of flying him out of there where he'd be swallowed by the skies the next instant.

"What -- do you see it, Zidane?"

His hand increased fanning at an alarming rate, actually lifting some of his hair off. Well, there was nothing to it but to get it over with already. Right. 

"Dagger, we're not on a date, are we!" 

The silence that followed could have easily beaten Oeilvert for its solemnity. (He could hear Steiner's labored breathing, often punctuated by snoring; and someone, a female voice, was talking in her sleep. Freya...?)

His eyes desperately looked for a suitable hiding place.

"Zidane..." Dagger cleared her throat. It was a wonder that her next words were not a study in strangled syllables. "I wanted to show you..." She trailed off and sighed, suddenly looking a lot younger in his eyes. Softer, more vulnerable. 

"We are not on a... a date." Night wind blew from the darkness below. 

Um. "Then er, what was it you wanted me to see?" he asked, words tumbling around in haste. A glance down the side of the cliff told him that it was suicide to jump off. And a stupid move. Well, of course it was stupid. Stupid was suicide – no, that didn't sound quite right... what was happening to him?! His brain felt like mush! 

Her head angled to one side, she turned slightly and took him in, having controlled herself once more. Wry amusement was in her eyes. "Zidane, do you see Alexandria from here?" 

Alexandria? His eyebrows went up, embarrassment drifting away as he considered her question. He knew his ears were still red, though. Now it was his turn to clear his throat. Looking out once more, he could barely make out where the gray of the sea met the darker blue and gray of the sky, let alone see the ridges that marked the Mist Continent where Alexandria lay. He hesitated before answering, then faced her fully. "'Course I don't. Do you?"

"No," she replied. "I don't either, Zidane." She took his hand and guided it back to that point somewhere on the mass of black. "But see, I know it's there. I can feel it."

Tingles from her touch were starting to spread to his arms. "Your point being...?" 

She shot him an exasperated look. "You always jump into things, don't you?" After a moment, her lips quirked into a small knowing grin as though they were sharing a private joke. "That's something I've always liked about you, your eagerness to do things with less aplomb but with more... sincerity, I think." She let both their hands drop, hers still holding his. 

"Faith, Zidane."

He was even more perplexed than ever, but he could not deny the pleasure he felt at her words. Still, Faith? What was she talking about? 

"What do you mean, Dagger?" A brief blackening of the sky near the point of her Alexandria, like an overlapping fin on the background, told Zidane he had just seen his whale again. Her voice brought him back, her gaze now focused intently towards the horizon. 

"It calls to me, you know. Alexandria. Although I now know that Madain Sari is my real home, I still look to Alexandria as a part of me, something that I can't let go just because I've learned the truth." She stated it like it was a simple fact, in turn giving his hand an affectionate squeeze. "In a way, the truth doesn't really change things. If anything, it only reaffirms my feelings, makes me cling closer to my past and look back to it with gratitude for the way things turned out for me – meeting you, and the others, too." 

She paused, considering, weighing her next words. Her voice fell to a whisper as if she were shy of sharing so much, but eloquence strengthened the words she spoke so softly. "You are a real person, Zidane. You don't have to prove anything to stake your claim; you feel it. As surely as you feel my hand around now, as surely as you hear me talking to you. More importantly, _we_ see it, and know it, and believe in it, the way I can see my home from here - even without the rugged outlines of mountains or mist, even with the sea blocking my sight. We see you, Zidane. Me, Vivi, Steiner, Freya, Quina, Eiko. Even Amarant. _We have faith._"

He felt his mouth drop open, and found no words to say. _Dagger..._

"I... I'm going back to sleep now." It felt like he was hearing someone else's voice.  "It's – it's going to be a long day tomorrow." With that, he gently took his hand from hers and turned away, unsure of what he felt. He had to think. He had to --- 

"Aren't you going to watch the sun rise with me?"

He stopped. Watch the sunrise? As if by some greater purpose or will, he felt his heart fill to almost bursting, and he wanted to hoot with laughter. How did she do it? he wondered. Strangely, he no longer cared a whit for genomes or Garland or Kuja. All that mattered was the present, the here and now, the presence of his friends and an exquisite siren at his midst. 

And faith.

"Zidane?" 

Without turning around, he answered her. "I don't have to. My memories will be part of the sky, Dagger. Part of the sky." 

He walked on back to the camp.

_And our memories will always be part of my heart._

Laying back down on his make-do pallet of leaves, Zidane Tribal closed his eyes and slept on, to the roar of water pounding in his ears, the music of an ethereal soul once again sending him to dreams, and the caress of the dragon god blessing his memories. 

Somewhere in the waking world, a blue whale sounded off what seemed to be a shout of triumph, throwing off its great fins as it swam with purpose down the depths. He dreamed of soaring with her into the sky.

**_Far away, there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations; I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead._**

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**_-- Louisa May Alcott --_**

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* I have no idea who said the opening quote. Please inform me if you do, thanks! :) 


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